After numerous medical and legal consultations the participants of surrogacy program do not particularly focus on its psychological components.
Some initially did not even consider that surrogacy brings them into a difficult psychological situation that requires professional assistance of psychologist. However, without an adequate psychological preparation none of the participants can survive in such a program. Each of the participants will experience a "psychological drama" and should prepare him/herself for future challenges in advance.
The likelihood of arising such problems during the surrogacy procedure is less when both potential parents are the genetic parents.
However, it does not always happen like that, and in general, relying on full "psychological painless" might not be a good idea. Difficulties arise even at the first stage, when the couple participates in a lot of medical procedures that are quite unpleasant and oppressive to them. In addition, they need to constantly share intimate details and to recognize their feminine or masculine "inconsistency" in front of strangers - doctors, lawyers and psychologists.
Participation in donor IVF program greatly exacerbates already existing psychological problems of potential parents. For many people the use of another biological material is a "killed hope," the recognition of lost in the battle with infertility. Not simple and a selection step: choosing a surrogate mother and a donor for IVF is also a test of the spouses’ senses. Further, there are expectations, hopes and fears: is that going to work or not. Then, if it works the parents experience some joy of victory that over a significant period of infertility outshines most psychological problems.
Of course, surrogate programs are also a serious challenge for surrogate mothers. For the husband of surrogate mother awareness that his wife carries a child for someone else's family is also a serious psychological trauma.
In the first stage of the proper preparation, as a rule, surrogate mothers do not usually experience significant psychological problems. However, during the choice of potential surrogate parents, many women may be hurt by the fact that they were not chosen.
As the recent studies show, the majority of surrogate mothers during pregnancy experienced feelings and concern for the child they were carrying. Not only do they want to successfully carry a baby through the entire pregnancy and to give birth to a healthy baby, but also they are worried about the child’s fate. Many of them asked the question of whether the genetic parents to provide an adequate care to the child.
After giving birth, including psychological issues prospective parents and surrogate mother usually experience, should be highlighted the following:
Psychological instability of a surrogate mother after the birth of the child, who "is not her child”, is not difficult to understand. It is difficult to believe that the surrogate mother does not have a feeling for the baby. When the time comes to give a child to the potential (biological) parents, for many women it is a complex psychological problem.
Here we do not only mean the feeling of uncertainty in the reliability of the parents, but the maternal instinct of care, which cannot be fully fought. Such psychological problems, of course, are very difficult to solve. It is desirable that the surrogate mother quickly switched to her own children, who are also psychologically affected by their mother's participation in the program.
According to research by British psychologists, after birth nearly a quarter of potential mothers experience a new wave of disappointment due to the fact that they do not become a mother who has given birth. Sometimes this problem also is followed by the delayed concern for the behavior of surrogate mother during pregnancy and after childbirth.
Potential fathers during the pregnancy become very accustomed to the surrogate mother, as they know almost everything about her health problems. After the birth a sense of gratitude is mixed with additional care to surrogate mother. During this period the fathers do not always have time to switch on child and their wives. And the wife an excessive concern of her husband for the surrogate mother in this period is the psychological trauma.
Also it is important to receive a positive attitude of the society, which is often biased by the general perception to surrogacy. Returning to the community can create discomfort for all participants of the program. It is necessary to think in advance about all the explanations of the questions that the participants of the program may be asked.
A qualified psychologist can help to avoid and these and other psychological problems. Never attempt to solve psychological problems by yourself, especially in cases related to family and reproductive problems.